Computer Hell...No..Really

After a forced Windows 10 update, my main business computer CRASHED. Not only did it crash, but the hard drive was completely wiped out...GONE. Let me preface this by saying that I am a tech-head. I’ve experienced drives failing before, but they show signs and are symptomatic. Moreover, they are usually retrievable. Meaning that you may have to wipe the drive and reformat it, but it will function again barring an actual mechanical problem which is relatively rare. It’s usually a back door virus or Trojan that hits that will be the causation. However, I suspect that this was not the case with this drive fail. This was an actual “hardware take out.” I’ll be doing another post about that in the near future, but if what I suspect is’s pretty scary. But for this post, I’ll leave it at that for now.

So, after a few days of trying to get the drive going again; I come to the conclusion that I need to buy a new computer. I find an HP AIO at The computer arrives $1209.00 later DOA. I plug the unit in and turn it on...only it won’t turn on. After several attempts to power the computer - it’s just dead out of the box.  I contact the company and speak with their customer service rep, Ronnie. Wow...not a pleasant experience and I’m starting to think that this is NOT a reputable company. Several e-mails and additional call to customer service; I get the computer returned and am charged a $189.00 return fee. I research the company further and find out they have a huge number of complaints. Ironically they have a 4.6 Google rating??? Something is not right here. I file a complaint with the Attorney General in their jurisdiction and e-mail the company with the case number. Resolution is pending.

Still without a computer, I decide to go with an HP desktop model from since I have no local options. Computer arrives in a box that is damaged and had been previously opened. I pull out the unit. Not only is it a used computer, but components were missing, and it was the wrong model. I return it disgusted and disillusioned about

I am now weeks behind without having a business computer. Desperate, I go to the local options that would work. I go to their online store and find an HP desktop model and order it. It arrives in new condition. I set it up and all seems to be going well...until it starts doing a forced Windows 10 update...then the “blue screen of death” appears. I am so beside myself at this point. How can this be happening??? I am starting to feel like I am in some kind of tech Sci-Fi movie. I take the computer back to Walmart. 

In the interim, I ordered a new hard drive for the original computer and a kit to power the original drive externally. I gut the computer, install the new drive and load up the factory software which has Windows 8. It’s a Gateway computer (now owned by ACER). I set it to manual update. Computer is alive and functioning. But Windows wants me to load up version 10. Not happening. 

As I am reflecting on the three “new” computer systems ordered from three different vendors; I realized something...they were ALL various Hewlett Packard models. Each problematic for different reasons; but ALL HP models. I decide that I should choose another computer manufacturer for “new” computer #4 - I went with ACER aka Gateway. It’s on order. My business down-time is now 4 weeks. The amount of time and productivity wasted are countless and continuing in a sea of seemingly endless computer hell....

Much peace!!!


Creative Chaos and an Unexpected Journey

For a little over a year and a half now I've been in this crazy, chaotic, non-productive state.  This is a really bad place for creatives to find themselves in. It's not that I wasn't busy and working; I was busy...doing "unpaid" work for others. Common sense will tell you that you only have so many hours in a day. When creatives wind up utilizing their time and energy for others; they will find themselves with little to nothing left at the end of the day for their own creative processes. This is both counter-intuitive and unhealthy and results in, "creative burnout." That is where I've been for the last almost year and a half. Creatively and emotionally burnt out.

A professor of mine once said, “If you don’t listen to your body; it will find a way to get your attention.” I haven’t been listening to my body solidly for the last four years. It’s been trying to get my attention, but I've been too busy doing things for others. Doing for others is important; however, “self-care” is as equally important. Balance is the key. The “self” is a triad of mind, body, and spirit. Any imbalance creates chaos in the overall wellness of “self.”  Although knowing this, I was quite guilty of “self-neglect.” For the last four years, my body has been trying to get me to listen. It’s manifested in chronic eustachian dysfunction, a frozen shoulder, bruxism, and depression. And most recently an upper respiratory virus that has led to chronic bronchitis. 

It was the latter manifestation that finally got my attention. I began listening. For the first time in years and years; I unplugged. I started focusing on “self-care” and interaction in real-time. I spent quality downtime self-evaluating what was truly important and relevant to me for literally the first time in my life.

My peers had a running joke in grad school about “going down the rabbit hole” - I never quite got there at that time. Looking back, perhaps I was meant to, but my then life chaos was so overly distracting and it left no room for that.  For me, this has become that journey “down the rabbit hole.”

For the last six weeks I have delved into that space. And truthfully, I am still down in there delving and processing. Yet, I am also clearing, cleaning, and accepting as I go. There is sorrow, pain, anger, and unhappiness. But there is also joy, kindness, peace, and love. I find myself resurfacing up for air briefly every now and again before going back down. And allowing myself the space and time to process each level of depth I travel. It has been an amazing journey so far and at this moment I am filled with both gratitude and humility. 

I will be less present on social media (I have completely deleted my Facebook account)  and more present, focused, and active in my own web spaces. I am an artist.  I wear hats for others to enable them to be and do their passions and dreams. However, the time has come to let them be more autonomous in that and for me to step back quite a bit and pursue my own dreams and passions. 

Wishing you all light, love, and peace in your life journeys! 


Art is a J-O-B

I love it when a creative tells me that "making art IS work." This of course is true. However, it's only a half the truth. Creating art is also a profession; a J-O-B.  Unfortunately, non-creatives tend to have this vague idea that creatives "play" all day and that what we do is not "work."  There is this disconnect and devaluation of the work that we creatives put out into the world.  This is amazingly frustrating because there is this belief that tends to pop-up, more often than not, that creatives should "work for free." I  argue though that it's actually not "free" because there are REAL costs involved for the creative in time, materials, etc. This is so amazingly present in society that a lot of creatives can seriously find themselves buying into to this notion and either devalue their own work or offer it up for free in the hopes that there will be some type of reciprocity down the road (which never happens).

 Work Studio

Work Studio

This concept drastically needs to change.  The blatant devaluation of creatives and their work by society at large is simply wrong.  Creating art is not only W-O-R-K; it's a J-O-B just like any other profession that individuals expect to be paid to do. In no other profession that I can think of do we find this kind of "entitlement" aspect. When a person provides work; they get monetarily compensated for that work because it's their J-O-B. Being a creative should be NO different. Yet it is.

If you are a non-creative reading this: The next time you ask a creative for something, don't ask for free work.  Pay them what they are charging and don't haggle - because it's their J-O-B.

Much peace!


©2018 by Kym Myck. All rights reserved.